Some people make me laugh...

BlogpostPublished: Feb 03, 2010Views: 3230

Seriously, if someone from your distant past came back and messaged you about how sorry they were for bullying you mercilessly for at least two and a half years of your school career, would you forgive them?

Or, put it like this. Would you forgive someone who bullied you mercilessly for at least two and a half years of your school career, affected your studies to the point where you couldn't concentrate any more, made you so sensitive to criticism and social situations that even now, you find it hard to trust people until you really, really know them, turned some of your friends and classmates against you, made you too scared to attend your favourite lessons so you just used to spend the whole hour hanging around in the school toilets nearly crying with fear and nearly made you slash your wrists at the age of 14???

Got this message from one of my old 'classmates' this morning...

hello adele. i think you know who i am. if not, then basically i'm the idiot who did some not very nice things at school. I want to apologise for being such a jackass. I look back at how i was then and it saddens me to see how much of a dick i was. I am sincerely sorry and i have grown up a lot and learnt a lot of life lessons during and since school. Whether it was a big deal to you or not, i still believe i was wrong to act the way i did. I hope you can find it within you to forgive me but if not i understand. I do really wish you all the best adele. yours truthfully stuart eades

Just feel like telling him to screw off...nice to see that being in the top group in English has impacted so well on his grammar and punctuation.

Makes me feel sick just reading it. If he messages me again, I'm going to email the admins on Facebook and ask them to block him from contacting me.

Flinn ∙ Feb 3, 2010

Well, after reading your entry I don't think enough time has passed for you yet. Your bully seems sincerely to regret his actions and it's a big deal enough for him to feel a need to apologize to you (and ease his own bad conscience). I was in a similar situation at school when i was twelve, and it did take me years to let go of my own grudges. But people do grow and time heals wounds, as stupid as it sounds. I believe eventually you will be able to forgive him. More than anything, don't let something negative like past bullyings of 14-year-olds shadow your new friendships. You and the people having nothing to do with some sad bully taking out his own bad feelings on you a few years back in his teenage angst, deserve better.
Good luck to you Adele $\:\)$

dltn43 ∙ Feb 3, 2010

I went through alot of stuff while in school myself (and my children as well) and although I am not as shy nor as concerned what other people think of me or whether or not someone likes me or not I'm still a forgiving person to a fault.  This is not to say that I have forgiven every thing someone has done or said to me.  I do understand how you both feel about this sort of thing.  I feel as though if I can forgive someone that it somehow lifts that burden of anger, animosity, hatred and all the other ranges of emotions that this offence has caused me.  There are times that I have forgiven someone, but also let them know not to contact me any longer.  So this helps me out bunches when I can do this.  I hope this works out for you benefit.  And I am so sorry that this person put you through all that crap.  Kids can be so cruel and it makes me wonder where they learn all of the meaness and hatred from.    Take care Adele!  $\:\)$   $\:wub\:$   Diana

GreatWesternUK ∙ Feb 3, 2010

My daughter has suffered the same as you have when she was 14, she is now 16 & to get her away from the bullies i had to move her on to college & into a Pre 16 course! As my daughter would say " Why the hell should you!" Then she has had nothing but grief from certain people on Facebook too, but reporting them doesn't always work. It's as if Facebook doesn't care! I hope it works out for you, i really do. Just ignore the message & get on with your life! These people are not worth the time of day, i know some would say you should turn the other cheek & forgive them! But I & my daughter feel they should live with thier guilt etc, i'm not saying this to offend anyone but as a father who has picked up the pieces these people leave in thier wake! Sod them girl, all the best to you.